Firstly I would like to congratulate you on your appointment as CEO of the REA Group. It will come as no surprise to you that you have some big shoes to fill.
I know that many of us think that you will simply be a puppet for News Limited and that tricky dicky Freudenstein will have you on his lap performing his ventriloquist number on you from this day forth. However I want to point out a few things that can make your stewardship successful.
Firstly, we love you. I know this is a shock, but trust me, we the agents love that you send us enquiries, we also love that most Australians use your website. We love it even more when you send these enquiries within say – the first month it was originally sent.
We also love that you place our vendors properties in the centre of the page. We understand that it must be tempting to place all other 35 or so 3rd party advertising in the centre of the page and place the property listing, well you know, somewhere obscure, like in the side area. This would make it easier for people to mouse over unsuspecting ads and have them pop all over their screens.
We also love the fact that you send us periodic emails telling us how great you are and how much better you are than the opposition and of course the 38 million unique Australians that use your website each month reminds us all just what a lucky country we live in.
If you get a chance to meet with Rupert, tell him thank you from all of us, we know his is getting a little mellow in his old age, but we still love the old codger and we understand he still loves donning his station master hat with his Hornby train set – oh and of course money, he will always love money.
I am no mathematician, but I had a glance over your figures last year and they look pretty good, however I reckon there is room for improvement. I have an idea, why don’t you try and make a few of these international websites a little more competitive, I know its a stretch, but how about setting a goal to make one or two of these profitable. Then you could then set aside a few dollars and spend it on upgrading the www.realestate.com.au website to something that resembles a real estate portal and not a home loan centre/home price guide website.
Ooooh, open up the draw to your left there is a truckload of cash in there set aside for the Peak Industry Body, its just sitting there, Simon forget all about it. It might be just below the mirror and make up case.
Hang on a sec, geez that local pub country curry didn’t go down well. What was I saying? Ah yes, profitability, I was chewing the fat with a few local agents yesterday and we reckon we need you so bad, that you could easily lift our fees by another 30%! Why not convene a meeting? Have a laugh about how much we need you and try on a 40% hike in fees, you could just say the same things as what banks tell us, something about how money costs more than money did a while back and that money is really tight and money doesn’t grow on trees. Seriously we need you guys so much we would pay anything. It is not as if times are tough for us, I sold a farm about 4 months ago and those Fortescue idiots paid me 300k for it, something about a mine.
One more thing before I go, better go check that draw, yep top right, the one that ticks. I am off to the outdoor loo for some recuperation, better go grab that Fairfax paper for a good hard hitting read, geez its only 2 pages thick, strike, well I never!
Note: Raised by his siblings (who happened to be related) Sir Les was born in 1954 in Anytown NSW, in 1972 he started his own real estate firm with his brother (Flatulence & Flatulence) and expanded his business to actually sell properties in 1979. He thinks he may have 3 kids of his own and lives with his parents.